Big Boy

It was my daughters 15^th birthday last night. She wanted to go to Fridays for dinner so we did. During the meal, I went to the men’s room to get away for a little while. When I walked into the room, one of my worst fears came true.

There were only two urinals…… A big boys and a Little Boys. There was already someone standing at the Big Boy Urinal, so I had to go to the Little Boy Urinal. You have no idea how I hate the Little Boy Urinal.

Anyways, a few seconds later the guy next to me finished up and left. I was “Unzipped” but hadn’t started taking a leak yet because of the trauma of the Little Boy Urinal. I came up with a brilliant plan to slide over to the Big Boy Urinal. As soon as I started to move a shrimpy guy walks in and cuts me off.

I was fuming!!!!!

Not only was my plan foiled, but it was nixed by some little Munchkin! What right did he have to even use the Big Boy Urinal?

I couldn’t stand it any longer. So I talked to the Lollipop Kid.

“Hey Bud…..I’ll tell ya what….. How about you and I switch places? I mean look at the ridiculousness of this situation….... I’m trying to take a leak with a urinal down at my ankles and you gotta stand on your tippytoes just to reach the lip of the Big Boy Urinal!”

I think Shrimpy took it pretty good. He turned towards me and gave me a dirty look and left. So I slide down and finished my business. That’s when I realized that he was still pissing as he was talking to me and that my leg was all wet. I have to admit that I was a little embarrassed, so when I went back to the table I told the waiter that the sink in the bathroom has a leak and he should take $10.00 off the bill.