A Strange Happenstance

Every Christmas and celebration of my Birthday my parents give me a couple of shirts. The shirts they give me are always out of style, made of materials such as Velour and are always out of season. (sort of like they were bought 6 months ago or possibly 6 years ago I'm not so sure) Anyways, they never give these shirts to my brother, just me.

My father usually feels bad and slides me a $50 or so on the side, kind of to make up for the lousy shirt.

Now, I bring this up for one reason: I have always wondered where they find these shirts and why they only give them to me.

Tonight, I had to go to K-mart to buy my daughter some feminine products. I passed by the men's department on the way in and passed an entire rack full of Velour shirts on clearance. I think they were marked down to 3 bucks.

I chuckled and headed for the Feminine Products department. I spend about fifteen minutes trying to decide between Super Flow, Heavy Flow, Normal Flow, Lite Flow and No Flow and understanding the difference between Pearl, Power Glide, and Smooth and Silky. I know that if I was buying an automobile transmission, I would've gotten the Super Flow Power Glide version.

So, after all that, I head to the cash registers and I hear a very recognizable voice. I looked over and saw my mother and father searching through the shirt rack. They didn't see me, so I hid behind a wall so I can eavesdrop.

Mom: These are perfect for Nukie! Do you remember when we took him to get a picture taken when he was an infant and the photographer put his nakid butt on that velvet rug?

Dad: Uhhh huhhh....

Mom: He got his first erection!

Dad: Uhhh huhhh......

Mom: I'm going to get six or seven of these for up and coming presents.

Dad: Uhhh huhhh......

Mom: They are getting harder and harder to find.

Dad: Uhhh huhhh..... Why don't you get some of these gadam ugly shirts for Wakanuki?

Mom: No..... He doesn't like them. Besides, he got his first erection from touching pudding.